Thursday, September 30, 2010

Almost least this step

Today was radiation treatment #17 of 21..just 4 more to go. These last 5 are what is called a 'boost' The first 16 were treating the whole breast, chest wall and everything in and around. The 'burn' is a square patch covering the entire breast. These last 5 are directed right at the spot the tumor was removed to give it an extra zap!!! I'm so flippin tired...I actually fell asleep coming back from the hospital today..just a couple hours after getting out of bed..that normally never happens. I wish I could say this was the end of this nightmare, but nope...I still have Herceptin treatments until next spring...providing my heart holds out. It has affected it before, and I'll find out tomorrow if it's been affected again. I'm hoping not, I'd like to keep the treatments going for extra peace of mind.
I will likely go back to my old job in a couple weeks, at least for a few hours here and there. Financially yes I need to , but honestly I'm not looking forward to being there. I never liked my job before and not being there in the last 8 months hasn't bothered me at all. I know I won't be able to do my normal hours, I'm just way too tired so we'll see what happens.
Reece will be home from school soon, so I need to get something going for dinner....have a great evening !!
Keep Smilin'

Monday, September 27, 2010

The pics I promised...

Here is a picture of my two girls...aren't they gorgeous! The other day, I went to use my camera and my battery was dead. I was trying to get the layouts done for my challenges at Scrap~tures. Well, I guess being tired and trying to get things done I snapped...Sean offered to go and get me a battery. He was just as tired as I was but went anyway. We live about 30 minutes from any store, so away he went. When he finally returned, he handed me the battery and this one red rose. What a sweetie. He bought me a card as well that was amazing. Inside he said 'I'm here for you for whatever you need, even batteries'...

Krystal gave me this beautiful necklace..I so adore it. I even had a lady tell me it was so pretty.

Isn't this adorable!!!! My friend Dayle sent this to me. Here's the funny thing. We literally live 5 minutes from each other, and she MAILED it to me!! We have both been busy and just couldn't seem to get together!

Only 7 more radiation treatments to go~~~

Thursday, September 23, 2010

MIA again...

Man, I can't believe how many days just zip on by. I have had a week from terms of time on the computer.

My computer was running slow so I took it to the doctor (heck, it belongs to me, so therefore needs a doc too..go figure) I had a virus among other things so it's been in the 'shop' for 3 days.

The running to radiation every morning is taking it's toll on me and's so tiring. I offered to go myself so he could all the driving is really reaking havoc on his back, but he refused...which I knew he would but I wanted to offer anyway.

I have let down my friend Denise, in not fullfilling my committment to her with regards to Scrap~tures..but with any luck she'll forgive me!!

I also found out last weekend that I'm going to be a grandma...HOLY FREAKIN MOLY ( and I mean that in a good way) My daughter is 20 years old and has been with the baby's father for over a year. No, this wasn't' planned but sometimes the best things in life are surprises. She's has an amazing support system with Sean and I..and with any luck a few more will ride the train with us. My good friend Nicole even offered to babysit. Another acquaintance offered all kinds of baby charge! All I can think of is all the new scrapbook pages I can create...I didn't start scrapping until after my kids were way past the baby stage, so this is going to be soooooo much fun!!!!

I have some pictures to show you, but it's late, so I'll upload them later. A good friend of mine gave me a bracelet. It's so pretty..with tiny breast cancer symbols on it. Krystal (my daughter) also gave me a necklace that is truly priceless. I also have a great picture of my girls to upload.

I just finished round 12 of 21 radiation treatments. I do have a radiation burn which at this point looks like a sun burnt boobie. It's likely going to get worse , but I'm hoping I can keep it from breaking the skin..which makes it harder to heal. I have a cream I apply at least twice a day and have went a couple of days without a bra to ease in the discomfort. I would much rather wear a bra though. I don't complain though..I see the pain Sean is in everyday, so what's going on with me is pretty minor.

We stopped at Mom's today and picked up a cane to see if it would alleviate some of the pain Sean gets when he walks. It was my grandpa's cane...and so far seems to be helping. Sean said to mom that he never thought he'd see the day that he'd use a cane. Even my mom at 67 years old could run circles around Sean. It's hard to hold back the tears when I see and hear the pain he's in 24/7. There is no amount of money in this world that could fix him and that makes me so sad

That's all for now, it's late and I need to head to bed. I'm so exhausted....although I think it's more from pushing myself to do more then I should be rather then the treatments them self..but who really knows for sure

Keep Smilin'

Sunday, September 12, 2010

4 down, 17 to go...

My first week of radiation is behind me.....just 17 more treatments to go. When I first found this, I couldn't help but think 'why me' ....but haven't really thought that lately. Yesterday, I had that thought again....I made the decision a long time ago to kick cancer square in the ass..I mean seriously , what other choice do any of us have...but then all of a sudden...that feeling comes screaming back..'WHY ME'....
I don't believe in a higher power anymore (not really sure if I did in the fist place) If someone 'up there' is in charge of everything down here, then why are good people and children getting these terrible diseases while murderers and pedophiles live to be a ripe old age. Makes no sense to me.
No ,I'm not feeling sorry for myself...wouldn't waste the time on that nonsense...just more or less rambling away.
We are headed back to Milton today for the rest of Reece's soccer tournament. The team won both games yesterday and they played amazing! Reece scored a sweeeeeeeeet goal...of course after her dad told her he'd give her $80 for a goal..never thinking she'd get one so that was of course the big joke for the rest of the game. I think today he's going with duct tape across his mouth hahahahahahahahaha
Have a great day..enjoy your family, wake up with a smile, enjoy life!
Keep Smilin'

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

1 down 20 to go...

First radiation treatment done..piece of cake....literally takes 45 seconds for shot for which I get 2! Today I am going to get my blood work done as well, save time tomorrow. Tomorrow I have my doctors appointment (which is pointless) and my Herceptin on Friday. The reason I say pointless is because my blood counts aren't affected with Herceptin so it's a waste of time. I can't remember if I mentioned this , but last month...I literally waited an hour to see the doctor (my appointment was at in to see the doc at 2:40) for a 10 second appointment. Paid $9 for parking and was really not impressed. I have to laugh, as they say to eliminate as much stress in your life as possible to help fight what's happening, but sometimes I think it's the docs that cause a lot of stress..hahahahahahaha. I did send an email off to patient services..and then received a phone call saying they are looking into their policies. We'll see if anything never know if you don't ask. Seems silly to lay off nurses, then do unnecessary procedures that waste money!

I love these!! I want to make myself a few t-shirts!

So, today is treatment #2..I tell ya, I think I should have been a topless waitress...I never thought I'd see the day that I'd be so comfortable taking off my shirt. I guess modesty goes out the window when something becomes so common. The radiation oncology nurses so far are great. The lady I had yesterday actually only lives 15 minutes from me!

If anyone EVER sees a set of pink boxing gloves, let me know, I would LOVE to have a set! I can't wait to be able to say I'm a survivor..although I guess I could say it now, I think it would be more appropriate when treatments are complete. Not sure if there is protocol when it comes to this or not.

I love this one especially...

Have a wonderful Wednesday!!

Keep Smilin'

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

First Day of School......yayyyyyyyyyy

and of course Reece was up and ready in lots of time, and soooooooo excited. It might have had something to do with us not allowing her to wear her new stuff until school started hahahahaha
Hard to believe my baby girl is starting grade 8! Seems the years just fly right on by lately~!
It's my first day of radiation too...I'll be glad when this is over. Although I still have the Herceptin to do, and echo cardiograms...I should be able to get back to some sort of routine, although I think part of me is going to miss being at home!

Have a great day!

Keep Smilin'

Monday, September 6, 2010

Day One..........

starts tomorrow..the first of 21 radiation treatments. What this means is every single weekday I have to drive 40 minutes to and from Barrie for a 15 minute treatment. I could arrange to stay in Barrie..but it would be by myself..and with no money, what the heck would I do for the rest of the day after treatment is done!!! I am still very tired although I did just mention to my friend Jenn, that I think it's because I don't rest enough. I know I should. They say radiation causes fatigue as well, but apparently it can come from the travelling to and from more so then the treatment itself!!
I also need to lose quite a bit of weight to be healthy. Being overweight can be a huge factor in recurrence. I did just return from my first walk. I didn't go far but far enough that my heart rate was pumping and I could feel it in my legs, so it's a start. I just need to do it every single day...and to push myself to go farther! I have been looking around for a treadmill..CHEAP of course with any luck I'll find one.
I found this awesome site
Look at this stuff, it's so adorable~ I am definitely going to be placing an order...just as soon as I can. H

So you might have noticed, I've changed my blog a bit...mainly got rid of the sunflower, although I love sunflowers, I absolutely love PINK even better..and thought it more fitting to have a pink blog!

Do you ever have those moments that just make you shake your head? I think I've said this before...but I think when you are faced with something serious like cancer it makes you look at others differently...and wonder what makes people do the things they do. When we had money and could buy the things we wanted/needed..we just did. I didn't throw it into peoples faces that we were able to buy stuff, we just did it. I especially didn't 'brag' to people that I knew for a fact weren't as well off as we were at the time. This has happened to us a few times lately...and I just can't for the life of me figure out what possesses people to act like this. I guess it makes them feel better to know they have more then the other person which is fine...just don't shove it down their throat!! Ok, that's my rant for today...hahahahaha ranting is supposed to be good for long as you can let it all go once you're done!!!

I'm off to scrap...I have a few challenges I'd like to get done for Scrap~tures

Keep Smilin'