Friday, October 29, 2010

Hello...Is it me your looking for???

Hello's been a while again.
I've started back to work, but now have two jobs so my time is once again limited. I went back to my old job which I think at this point is just a couple days a week. It's very tiring although i'm stubborn and won't let that slow me down, I can't. For those of you that don't know, I'm also a mortgage broker. Of course that's by commission only, so I need to 'get my name out there' so to speak, but I have to start somewhere. I started this career path before the cancer theory was that it was my turn to take care of my family, since Sean no longer can. It was of course delayed by a few months thanks to someones idea that we needed more on or plate but I'm back and planning on kicking some financial woes ass!!
Hopefully by the time Mom & Dad sell the business and retire, I'll be a successful mortgage broker!!
Things have started to look up though, we went to court to have Sean's owing child support lowered, since he hasn't worked in two years. Of course the ex said 'no' but lucky for us, it wasn't her decision..we were so's DONE..NO MORE EX!!!!!
Sean received his 'termination' letter from his employer. We knew they wouldn't take him back after the injury (we even said this while he was flat on his back in the hospital). This of course also means his benefits are ending soon. Sean's drugs alone on a monthly basis are around $350 - 400 so this is the new obstacle to get over.
Sunlife has yet to agree that he has a permanent disability( too bad they wouldn't come and visit, to see just how bad he is) so if we don't get that changed, as of April 2011 he will have zero income as the disability payments will cease. We haven't given up on that yet, but need to get his doctor to submit fingers crossed this will work out too. If not, we'll persevere once again and make it work, we always do :)
What a couple of years we have had...and to be honest, we know of no other couple that has endured what we have. We've not once had to take any sort of medication to be able to get through it, we didn't start smoking again( lord knows how many of us have heard smoking calms the nerves) nor have we turned into alcoholics. We get up every day and thank each other for being there for the other one.
I have a few really good friends that I want to thank for being there every step of the way. You know who you are. I have to say that I thank scrapbooking for bringing us together. You have had nothing but encouraging words , hugs and smiles through everything Sean and I have had to endure and I have no doubt you'll be there forever. I can't thank you all enough for the unconditional friendship you have all given me. We all came together with one thing in common and it's made us great friends, regardless of our different situations, either financially or emotionally and I could never be more grateful!
Enough of this sappy's Friday..LET'S PARTY!!!!
Keep Smilin'

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Hello All!!

Scrap~tures is the sponsor this week at Creative Scrappers!
Check it out and you could win a Scrap~tures kit!!!
Here is a layout I did using one of their amazing sketches

Head on over to Creative Scrappers and check out all their awesome sketches!! You might even be lucky and win a free kit!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Burn baby burn!

Yep, the radiation burn is so uncomfortable. It hurts to wear a bra or camisole, but is uncomfortable to not wear one too :S I told mom I'd try coming back to work on Tuesday but if I don't feel better I'm not sure I'll be going back. Doctor said the side effects peak in the two weeks following last treatment so I guess this is what he meant. The burn gets worse :( Under my arm is swollen which makes it hard to sleep. I can't sleep on my right side, hurts too much. If I sleep on my back all night it starts to ache and on my left side I need a pillow under my arm to cushion against the burn. Never take for granted getting a good nights sleep....I don't remember the last time I did. I hate to complain though, and most of the time I don't. It is what it is, can't change it, just need to give it time.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!! We have have lots to be thankful for so remember those things today.
Today is also my parents 46th wedding anniversary. Cool eh!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month so remember to get your PINK ON!!
Keep Smilin'

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Step 3 complete......

Step one-->Chemotherapy-->COMPLETE
Step two-->Surgery--------->COMPLETE
Step three->Radiation------->COMPLETE
Step four-->Herceptin-------> Incomplete

yayyyyyyyyy OMG, I can't tell you how happy I am to have this step over and done with. Talk about tiring. Some days my eyes would just close on the way home from Barrie (good thing I wasn't driving)

All that's left is the Herceptin which if I have it figured right, and have no delays should be complete right around the end of April, first of May...these treatments are once every 3 weeks, so not nearly the running around like radiation.

Thanks to all of you that have stuck by my blog and offered words of encouragement. I anticipate a much more boring life from here on out. I do plan to keep my blog updated, it just might not be quite as interesting hahahahahahahahaha but I would love it for you all to stick around!!!

Keep Smilin'

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Wow, you look good...

short hair suits you....hmmm...ever wonder if people tell you that because they feel obligated to make you feel good. I look in the mirror and I see a cancer patient..not some stunning woman with really really short hair. I guess it's because I didn't have a choice..and really..who is going to say ' wow, you look terrible with short hair'. Now that I go just about everywhere without my wig, I get lots of comments...but for some reason they don't make me feel better. I said to my friend on the weekend, after she and her husband both told me I shouldn't worry about how I look , because I look fine...unless you've went through this, there is just no way you could possibly understand how I feel! If it was my choice to cut my hair really short..then fine..but I didn't have that luxury..and quite frankly...I'm SICK of looking like a cancer patient! Wearing the wig meant I could blend in with everyone else, without being stared at like I've got some disease..oh wait, I do!!!!
Sean tells me all the time I look great, bless his heart..but again, would he say any different? I am meeting up with some friends next month, and part of the reason why I don't want to go is because of how I look. They all say they don't care how I look, it's what's inside that matters but I care...aren't I supposed to care? I wish I could hibernate until this was all over, come out looking the same as when I went in. Now, I've never been one to 'stress' about my looks...but this is different, again because I think all these changes were not my choice. I'll get over it, I'm tough, nothing a little red wine won't fix ;)
Today is my second last radiation treatment. I thought all was going well until the nurse noticed yesterday that the skin has broken and peeled under my breast. Well lucky me...why would I think I'd be special and not have one more crappy thing to experience....oh yeah, cause I'm tough and can handle it. My entire breast looks looks like a sunburn, doesn't feel like one though. It's not warm to touch. Freaky actually! It does get itchy, but can't scratch as that can irritate the skin as well. I haven't wore a bra in 3 weeks to try and prevent irritation but instead wear a camisole but that didn't seem to make a difference. I have a recipe for a salt water solution that I now have to apply at least 4 times a day and let air dry. Ok, did anyone mention I have a 13 year old at home..pretty sure she doesn't need to see her mom walking around topless 'air drying' the girls hahahahahahahaha!
Only two left, then the doc says the side effects get worse two weeks after the final treatment, then they'll start to get better...well bring it on...there is nothing I can't handle!!!!! I already have battle scars to prove I'm not going down without a hit me with all you've got!!!!
I will be back <3
Keep Smilin'