Monday, May 23, 2011

Here He Is!!!!!

How adorable is he??? Yes, i'm biased but can I help it. I'm still getting used to the whole 'grandma' think but I'm sure in no time it'll be 'old hat'

This is Krystal and Jeremy..the proud mommy and daddy!!

I can't wait until I can get some more pictures. I do think this little guy is going to be the subjec to many scrapbook pages!!

Keep Smiln'

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I'm officially a grandmother :)

Noah Gerardo arrived on Thursday, May 19th at 3:09pm. He weighed 8lbs 15.5 oz's and was 21 inches long. Krystal was only in labour for 6 it wasn't too bad. Both mom and baby are healthy. Noah is jaundiced though, so they've had to stay in the hospital longer unfortunately.

I posted pics on Facebook, but haven't uploaded them to my computer yet but I will soon.

He's so adorable, and yes you probably think I'm biased and that's ok :)

May so far has been an amazing month. Here is everything that has happened or will happen in May

1. I was given the official word that I'm cancer free

2. Sean passed his training course for his 'A' licence

3. My daughter Krystal had her first baby , and made me a very proud grandma (even though I still think I'm way too young to be one ;) )

4. My daughter Reece will turn 14 on the 24th of May

It's been a struggle for the last few years with everything that's happened in our lives, but it looks like we might have finally turned the corner. Financially things are still pretty bad, and will be until Sean finds work...but hopefully that'll happen sooner rather then later. I'm not looking forward to him being 'out on the road' but we are both looking forward to being independent again and paying off our bills!

Today we are headed over to some friends, only about a 7 minute drive away. We have our trailers all set up there, and plan to spend the night because we do plan on having a few drinks. Reece has a friend over so they'll have fun too!.

Tomorrow we are heading to Canada's Wonderland to drop Reece and her friend off. It's where she wanted to go for her birthday. I think Sean and I will go visit his grandma in Oshawa while the girls are having fun. I want to go visit Krystal too and see my new grandson ;)

Well I'm off, need to shower and get ready to go. Have a safe and happy holiday weekend to all those celebrating!!!

Keep Smilin'

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Won't Be Long Now

Krystal was at the docs today, she's already 2cm dialated. Doc told her he'd be surprised if she goes another 24 hours!!!..I'm so excited :)

Sean passed his test today, so he's a full fledged truck driver. Now, to just find a job LOL...but I'm sure that'll come!

Nothing else really happening, watching American Idol so I'm off...just thought I'd update life!!

Keep Smilin'

Monday, May 16, 2011

Still Waiting!!

Yesterday was Krystal's due date, and still no baby. Although it's fairly normal for a first pregnancy to go over the due date. I remember being exactly where she is. I was 5 days over due with her..and each day that nothing happens is frustrating but something most mothers know all too well! We are all waiting (as patiently as possible I might add) for that phone call!!

The last 6 weeks have flown by. Sean drives his 'A' this Wednesday then he'll be a full fledged truck driver. Then we need to find him a job driving so we can finally get on with our lives!!!!

Nothing much else is going on right now. I've created a few layouts, but other then that it's been quiet. I'm sure once Sean starts working I'll scrap more, but for right now I'm enjoying the time we have together. If he ends up long haul , it'll be tough for a while until we get used to it. We've seen each other pretty much every single day for 17 having him gone will be an adjustment. But like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder and I'm sure we'll make the best of the situation. We always do!!

Well, I'm gone....Watching Dancing With The Stars with the family..

have a great night!!!

Keep Smilin' ;)

Friday, May 13, 2011

I'm so honoured, and completely humbled...

Last night, Reece had a soccer practice. Sean and I had some running around to do, so we did it. The coach had told me the girls were getting their uniforms last night too. We arrived back at the practice with a few minutes to spare, and as soon as the coach saw us, he came over carrying the jersey's, one each of the home and away...the home is orange and the away jersey is white.

On the top left corner there is a pink breast cancer ribbon. I asked the coach if this was because of me. He said that the club found out about me, and went ahead and did this. They also donated $2500 to breast cancer research here in Ontario.

I'll take pics when I can , but I'll tell ya, It brought a tear to my eyes last night. I'm amazed all the time when the generosity of people I would never have thought about comes to light.

Someday with any kind of luck at all..this disease will be history..

we can only hope xoxo

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

2011 : A Great Year!

Thanks to my friend Christa who reminded me that

Dr. Seuss said it best ::

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

2011 has so far proven to be a year for change and so far, it's all been amazing.

This year, Sean and I will become grandparents. We are sooooo excited!!! Krystal is due in just 4 more days!!
My grandson is in there!!!!!!!The hand on the right is Krystal's, the one on the left is Jeremy's.

What an perfect picture!!

This year, Sean will start a new career, one he's been wanting to do for over 20 years. Maybe falling off the roof was actually a blessing in disguise, they say those do exist!

This year, Reece will finish her elementary school career with 9 years of perfect attendance. Her dad and I couldn't be more proud. She told us at the age of 6 when she came home after her final day of kindergarten that she was going to do this until grade 12. Just 4 more years to go.

I have debated over the last few days on whether or not to continue with my blog. This was my place to say what I want, when I want , however I want. Unfortunately there have been a couple instances where people have assumed I'm speaking about them, and instead of simply asking me , they've taken it upon themselves to be confrontational with me.

This is one of the things that has been said to me

"If you are putting your feelings out there for the world to see, you should accept people's reactions to it, good or bad"

I disagree. Unless I specifically say a person's name, no one should just assume it's about them until they ask. I am not doing this for people's opinions.

It's funny...another friend said I shouldn't let 'one bad apple' stop me from blogging. How true!!

I started this blog to be able to type out whatever I wanted, to get my feelings out there. I can type much faster then I can write, which is why I chose to do it this way.

I will say that my life has changed a lot since December of 2009 when I discovered I had cancer. I knew right there and then that I was going to fight with whatever means I had to make sure I was here for my family. This year has so far given us some great things, but we have also lost some family members with others in a fragile state.

Sean has lost both a grandfather and grandmother and an uncle in a span of 2 months. He only has one grandmother left. We've spent a lot of time running back and forth to her house , which unfortunately is 2 hours away from where we live. It's time consuming and tiring but it's something we all do for family.

I will continue to blog, and all that I ask is that if you read something, and think there is a chance it's about you, please feel free to ask. I'll be honest..I have no reason not to be. I do however ask that you don't jump down my throat until you do know the truth. I also want to thank those that continue to read my entires and follow me :) I appreciate you all more then you'll ever know!

Onward and upward for 2011 and beyond...and like Dr. Suess said

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

Thursday, May 5, 2011

So There You Have It...

April 6th, I went to Mount Sinai for my first mammogram since radiation. It's been 6 months since radiation and while I've lived every day as normal as possible, and it's hard to explain exactly how I've felt...the easiest way to describe it is this....Without a doubt at least 25 times a day, I would think about if they 'got it all' with surgery and treatment. I'd like to say I had an 'instinct' and the knew I was all 'good' but until you get those results, you never really know.

Every time I look at Reece, I couldn't help but think' will I be here when she gets married'? It's amazing and scary at the things you think about once you are given that diagnosis. I have talked at great lengths with Sean about this, and as much as he's tried to convince me that I'll be here, you just never know.

When some people found out I had breast cancer, some of the reactions where 'Oh, well if you had to get cancer, that's the best one to get, it's the easiest to beat'.

I volunteered at a hockey tournament a few weeks ago, for a girl I went to school with. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, and 18 months later , she was gone. She was a year younger then I, and was only 39 when she passed away. Funny, I guess sometimes when people don't know what to say, they stay stupid things.

Back to the follow up mammogram. Sean and I headed to Toronto..with nothing but positive thoughts in our heads. Did the mammogram, had to wait 2 hours for the appointment so we went for lunch. I already knew something was up...when the technician did the mammogram, because I was seeing the surgeon that day for the results she said she wanted to make sure she had lots of 'good pictures' so it wouldn't have to be repeated. I waited after the initial mammogram, only to be told the radiologist looked at them and they saw something, so he wants more pictures to be sure. Here we go again. Squish, squish squish....more pictures.

The technician I think screwed up , because she said the radiologist mentioned a biopsy because he saw 'areas of concern' but it was ultimately up the surgeon.

I knew a biopsy was in my future. Once you have had the interaction with as many doctors and radiologists as I have, you begin to know who makes what decision. I knew that the doctors rely on the radiologists to tell them what they think is the next step. It's their job. I knew once we met with Dr. Easson, she's say I should have a biopsy.

We meet with Dr. Easson..and sure enough...she wants a biopsy.

My first biopsy when I found the lump was done by ultrasound. Basically what that means is a technician does an ultrasound on my breast while the radiologist takes samples from the lump. This method can only be done if the lump is large enough to be seen through ultrasound.

This time the 'areas of concern' were too small to be seen using ultrasound (bonus for me I guess!!) so it had to be done using mammogram. This is called a Stereotactic Mammogram and Core Biopsy. Dr Easson said they'd call with an appointment for the biopsy. So we leave the hospital. I cried, I didn't want to cry..but I did. I decided a long time ago that crying admitted Cancer was beating me and damn it , that wasn't going to happen. I'm an emotional person to begin with ( this might shock a few people ;) ) but I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve when I'm not being a tough bitch! I wasn't crying because there was a possibility that I still had cancer, I was crying because I was disappointed. I had it in my head that I was cured..completely...there were no if , ands or buts about it. I was cancer free. That's what every cancer patient wants to hear with there first post treatment check when I didn't hear that...I guess the only way to describe it balloon was deflated.

I received the phone call that my biopsy was scheduled for April 26. Now I'm scared...I mean even the toughest of people can get scared every now and then so cut me some slack ;)

I can't even explain the feeling of waiting to be called. I know the test is going to be uncomfortable...but I had no idea.

The first biopsy I was LUCKY enough to have Sean by my side. It was a small town hospital so I guess that one of the luxuries.

This time, I was alone. I was called, it was my turn. I walked down the corridor to the room. I followed the technician which by the way was an absolute sweetheart. They all are! After we get into the room, the radiologist 'fellow' came in with an 'observer' which was a male. The technician and the fellow were both women. NOW, don't get me wrong, I've literally shown my boob to at least 20 different doctors, technicians, oncologists, radiation name it, it's been done. BUT , this guy that was to be the observer because this procedure isn't don't often...made me uncomfortable...his look, he wouldn't look at me at all. He stared at the floor...he was just weird. Believe me, It makes no difference male or female..unless I'm uncomfortable...I mean to be honest , a boob is a boob but I'm a firm believer that if it's your body, you have every right to always be comfortable with whomever you choose to show it too, regardless of the situation!

I had to lay on a stretcher on my side and position myself close enough to the mammogram machine to be 'squished' enough for the test. Once I was 'clamped' into place, I was given 3 needles of freezing per site, for which there were two sites. I was literally clamped into the machine for 1 1/2 hours, 45 minutes per site with maybe a 5 minute break in between. I was 'attached' to the machine , by what I can only describe as ' Jesus nailed to the cross'. I had a tube inserted into the cut they put into my breast , then the instrument was inserted into it, that removed the tissue to be tested. I seriously could not move for fear of ripping my breast. Have you ever tried to lay in the same spot for 45 minutes?

Finally they said they had enough tissue to test...blood was everywhere...I was numb and sore...but it was done. I walked out to Sean who was patiently waiting in the waiting room. He asked me if I was ok, I said no, but lets go...I want to go home.

Again, a waiting game.

I only told two of my bestest friends that I was going for this biopsy. You sort of get a feel for who is 'in your corner' and who isn't and who you want to confide in and who you don't.

We went to Dayle's place last weekend. She asked me how I was, and I told was the worst hour and a half of my life...and all she did was HUG was exactly what I needed. Tis true what they do find out who your friends are, and who really does care :)

I have my appointment for my results May 11th

Which brings me back to today (It was a long time getting here, and if you are still reading, I am forever grateful)

Today was my last treatment. Most people think cancer consists of chemo and radiation. There are many other treatments that take a lot of time to complete. It's funny though...once you are done the initial treatments, people stop asking...they stop worrying, or stop caring..who knows.

Anyway, I was a Herceptin patient. That's 40K per patient...basically it's an antibody that I don't normally have, but now that my treatments are done, there is a guarantee that the cancer won't come back by 50%.

Sean and I got home at 5:30, we had to leave again at 6pm for Reece's soccer. As I'm making toasted western sandwiches for supper, the phone rings...Reece says 'it's probably the hospital'..then she walks over and gives me the phone.....

It was Dr. surgeon.

I was in the middle of cooking dinner, Reece handed me the phone...When I answered..this is what I heard..............................

Teresa, It's Dr. Easson...I have your results. The tests all came back benign.

I said'"Does that mean it's good" ...Yes, I was a little in shock that she's was on the phone...big time doctors don't make phone calls.

She said " yes, there is no cancer, you are cancer free. It was only scar tissue. I'm so happy with this outcome" OMG...My response.." I LOVE YOU" ..YOU JUST MADE MY DAY" " I JUST HAD MY LAST TREATMENT...YOU HAVE JUST MADE MY LIFE"

SO, There You Have It...

I'm a survivor <3