Thursday, January 19, 2012

*Warning* Vent enclosed

So, I'm sure most of you remember the 60km walk I did last September to benefit the Princess Margaret Hospital. I walked with a friend Nicole and together we raised about $4500. They had sign ups for 2012 at that walk with a registration fee of only $10. We paid a $50 registration fee last year so we both signed up. Nicole said she started this with me and would always continue to walk with me, regardless of who signed up.
Then I'm pretty sure I mentioned I had a couple of friends, both in their 40's pass away from Cancer, one in November and one in December. Well the one in November was a former family member (My first husband was her cousin) She'd battled cancer for 12 years and passed away at 41 years old. She didn't have a 'women's cancer, she had a tumor in her stomach originally, that spread to her liver and lungs in the end. Anyway, while at her funeral, they played the Martina McBride song "I'm gonna love you through it" which is a song written by a guy for his mother in law who battled breast cancer. The entire song is amazing and actually brought tears to both mine and Sean's eyes. It's sooooo close to me except for the age of the woman, and the outcome of her surgery,but everything is is bang on. Anyway, I found it sort of inappropriate at Jen's funeral because Jen didn't have breast cancer. Someone even whispered behind me while the song played about how Jen didn't have breast cancer, why would they play that song.
Here's a link to the song in case you haven't heard it
Anyway, Jen's sister, sister in law and family friend have all signed up to do the walk this year. That's fine, I'm glad, it's more money for an amazing hospital that helped save my life as well as countless others. I sort of wondered why when the sister joined , she didn't join my 'team' but thought, no big deal. I read the sister's welcome page on the end cancer site, and she has said she's walking in memory of her sister. I found this a little odd, since Jen didn't have a women's cancer but whatever...carry on.
When Nicole and I signed up for this coming year, we'd said we'd love to raise $5000 each, as this year is the 10th year for the walk, and we thought it would be cool to raise $10 000 as a team.
Today I received a text message from Nicole stating that last year she walked with me FOR me and this year she'd like to walk with the sister in memory of Jen. I was sort of stunned, I mean seriously? I said "um, ok" then she asked me if I was going to as well. I said "what? Walk in memory of Jen" she said "yes" I didn't respond right away, I was still a little stunned. I guess she forgot what she'd said about always walking with me. So, I responded saying that I would NOT be walking in memory of Jen, that this was still a very big part of my life and it's still not over and never will be. I said that I didn't think it made sense to walk in memory of someone who didn't have any of the cancers that this walk benefits and that there were plenty of other walks and runs that benefit general cancers.
Well, I guess I've ticked her off, as her only response was " honestly I can't even comment and that's probably best"
So, I need your opinions...was I wrong in what I said? I talked with another friend today and she totally agrees with me. I said I wasn't sure why this is bugging me so much, and she said likely because I've been through it, I'm still going through it.
Maybe it's silly, but to have Nicole bail on me, to be able to walk for someone that didn't have one of the cancers this walk is for, really upset me.
I called Sean and spoke to him, he offered to walk with me this year. I don't think he'd be able to with his back, but he said he'd start walking on the treadmill. I really love that man!!!
Anyway, vent over, maybe I'm over reacting, I'll get over it.
Thanks for reading
Keep Smilin'

1 comment:

VaryScrappy said...

Vent away sista! We are here for you. Maybe your friend doesn't understand how you feel right now, but she hopefully will in the future. My advice would be to sit down with a cup of tea and tell why you feel the way that you do.